Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

You are probably familiar with the experience, but let me describe it to nonetheless. It is that moment when someone walks into the room, and you are overcome with feelings of anger. It is when you may simply hear someone’s name, and you get flooded with grievous thoughts of vengeance. You stop going to certain places because you might have to be around a certain person. You find that any contact with them alters your mood. You can be feeling fine one minute, then you are angry or burdened the next…all by the mere thought of someone. I mention these experiences because I believe them to be common, but they reveal a powerful truth: Unforgiveness controls us! You might reject the idea that someone else’s behavior controls you, but if you alter your plans, have your mood change, or act differently because you are around a certain person…let’s faced, they are controlling you. Unforgiveness often causes us to relinquish our decision making faculties to someone we are mad at. Isn’t that just adding insult to the injury? I say this, because many people have this feeling that if they forgive someone, they are giving up some control. Giving up the right to retaliate. Giving up the right to revenge. But I propose to you, that when you forgive you are actually taking back the control that unforgiveness causes us to give away. You determine that no other person gets to control your mood. No other person gets to dictate where you will go and what you will do. Forgiveness is one of the ultimate proactive responses to hardship.

All that being said, it also reinforces the fact that forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It doesn’t mean you are giving up anything good. Forgiveness, to the contrary, is an act of great strength. It takes amazing power of will and character to release someone from their debts to you. It is so hard, in fact, that I don’t see how anyone without the Spirit of God’s help can do it consistently. I thank God that He is my Helper in this! When you forgive someone, you are proving that the power of God is at work in you. It is a weak person who walks in unforgiveness. The strong agree with the grace they been given, and do the hard thing of forgiving.

If you are struggling to forgive someone today, I would encourage you to stop letting them control you!! Ask the Spirit of God to give you the strength that is necessary to release them. As Spirit empowered believers, we are able to walk in the same forgiving virtue that God has afforded to us.

Blessings,

Pastor Brian